This has no entertainment purpose at all and is only interesting if you’ve been bitten by a ladybug or believe that they are cute and lucky, so feel free to not read it.
I thought the ladybug was just a cute little brunch friend.
By Alyssa Ramos
I was going to write about my younger brother’s scrotum surgery over the weekend, but it’s just too painful to even think about, and would probably cause a lot of people to vomit (he had a leak in his urinary tube) so I’ve decided to discuss a different super uncommon occurrence that’s not as painful but equally as weird….getting bit by a ladybug. Chewed on actually. The cute little thing literally sat there on my arm and chewed on me for five hours.
It all started at brunch, (doesn’t it always) when I was meeting a friend from Florida who had just returned from a trip in China at Basix for my usual Sunday brunch. I was waiting on the sunny, bustling patio with Oscar (my pomeranian), while amusingly watching my non-LA guy friend try to find the host amongst the predominantly gay staff. It’s just so fun watching metro straight guys realize that they fit right in with the fabulously dressed gay brunchers. And no, I will not pretend to be your girlfriend when the waiter flirts with you.
Just minding my own business, and this little guy lands on me.
Anyway, suddenly out of nowhere I see a little ladybug just flutter it’s way into brunch and self-seat itself right on my arm. “Look! Look! A ladybug landed on me! It’s good luck!” I shouted to the uninterested patio who only acknowledge me because of my little fluffy dog. I pouted briefly until Jonathan came back, “Jonathan! Look! A ladybug!” I said again. “Yeah! That’s good luck!” ….finally.
We sat down, and the ladybug was still on my arm. Just hangin’ out. Enjoying brunch. Little did I know, its idea of brunch was human flesh. “Is that ladybug still on your arm?” Jonathan asked after two hours. I looked around my arm and found it on my Hermés leather wrap bracelet. “Yeah…it’s kind of getting weird.” I replied, but still refused to flick it off in fear of ruining my good luck. It got weirder when it still refused to fly away after I walked home, changed (very carefully as not to knock it off), and drove my car to Fatty’s on La Cienaga to meet up with the boys to “watch” football.
“SO, this ladybug has been just chilling on my arm for the past like three hours, not joking.” I announced as I walked up to their table. Pete immediately tried to swat it, and Jon politely said “So will you be really mad at me if I just smack it off.” …so I sat next to Alex. I noticed during the second round of Connect Four that the little shit felt like it was pinching me…I looked closely, and it’s mouth fangs were connected to my arm! I assumed it was trying to hang on since my movements were becoming more and more sporadic, and because everything I Googled about “Do ladybugs bite?” said no, so I gently shoved its butt with my finger to see if it would move.
Ladybug stayed on me in the car.
Ladybug stayed with me at the bar.
It did. It casually strolled on back down to my bracelet leaving me with a clear view of the millimeter wide BITE it had been working on while I thought it was giving me good luck. When I looked closely, I saw that it had legitimately chewed off the top layer of my skin like I was a fucking delicious leaf, and there was even a teeny tiny drop of blood! What an asshole! I flicked that stupid little conniving ladybug off real fast after that.
Lady bug started to pinch, and noticed my arm was RED.
My very noticeable ladybug bite.
After ranting about it for the past few days, and having everyone try to tell me either that ladybugs don’t bite or that I was going to turn into one, and the idiots on the internet all claiming it was blasphemous to even ask if a mystical lucky ladybug would bite people, I finally found the scientific explanation. Ladybugs do bite, and I was not lucky to have experienced it.
Alyssa is a self-made, full time travel blogger who loves adventure and typically travels the world solo. She's been to 53 countries and 6 continents so far, and believes she has mastered the art of chasing waterfalls, traveling solo, wine drinking, and making budget-traveling look good. Curious to know how she started this career? Check out the About section above!