Started the day out right volunteering at Gobble Gobble Give and feeding homeless people all morning.
This isn’t Miley Cyrus’ house.
by Alyssa Ramos
This Thanksgiving, I decided to show my gratitude for life by volunteering to feed homeless people and somehow managed to gather a small army of friends, and about six bags of clothing to donate. So after packing thousands of hot Thanksgiving meals, packaging outfits (which surprisingly, the boys were very picky about making sure the outfits matched) and toiletries, and meeting hot guys, we set out to stalk homeless people to feed, and I finally got a chance to check all of my texts. In the midst of the twenty or so “Happy Thanksgiving”‘s was a picture message of what looked like two people in bed. I obviously clicked on that one first, and to my non-surprise, it was a picture of two of my guy friends passed out in the same bed, accidentally cuddling.
It was one of their birthday’s the night before, and of course, having your birthday, Hanukkah, and Thanksgiving Eve all in one night is a recipe for lethal disaster for them, so while I was waking up to go volunteer, they were just getting to bed after raging all night. That would be fine and all, except our Friendsgiving was planned to be at their house, and I was very determined to go start drinking there immediately after volunteering. (To their credit, they did donate a lot of very nice clothes.)
Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s a blast of whipped cream.
Luckily my third guy friend who also lives there decided to opt out of the fifty person, Hollywood scum, after party and was up and ready to start the festivities (aka drinking). So I loaded up my spinach dip, truffle mashed potatoes, and prosciutto mozzarella appetizer, and picked up Stacey two blocks over who was carrying a tower of jello shots and cookies and headed up the hill to their (frat) house. The birthday boy had woken up finally, but the other little party animal was still passed out…fully clothed…with sunglasses on…laying sideways across his bed. So being the good friends we are, Stacey and I brought him beer and a jello shot, and jumped on him until he woke up.
Back downstairs, the only married couple of our group of friends were doing the tasks that, well, married people do…wifey was owning the stove and oven like she had octopus arms, and hubby was…deep frying the turkey outside…which I hear is extremely dangerous…and also for which I was forced to look like a fat ass and pick up two gallons of vegetable oil at the grocery store on the way up. Finally hungover friend came down, still wearing his sunglasses, and in extremely rare form, much to my amusement…I watched him not once but twice fall slowly and uncontrollably to the ground after I tapped the back of his knee.
Deep frying a turkey. Both dangerous, and disgusting.
By the time it was finally feast time, birthday boy had already gone back to bed, but some unexpected guests had arrived…four scary looking foreign people that had been at their after party the night before and apparently been invited to Thanksgiving. They looked like they were still rolling from the night before however they did bring a stone slab for the various cheese wedges they brought, and a large bottle of vodka. I’m assuming they’re Russian or French.
Dinner was more like a kindergarden picnic…especially since the Pinterest-worthy table was set with a brown paper table cloth, and markers. I probably spent more time drawing hand turkeys and characatures of people than eating, not that I had many options anyway since I’m a vegetarian. I was going to be adventurous and have some of the honey baked ham except OH WAIT, the ham that Jon was SO PROUD that he got, was still in the oven…which he forgot to turn on. I ran to turn it on, and thought by the end of dinner it would be ready, but it was still only half heated…not that that stopped the drunk people…I found it in the morning completely picked at up until the point where it was still frozen.
Colorable Pinterest table +
= More coloring, less eating!
After dinner death
After dinner was a blur. I’m pretty sure we watched Home Alone and talked shit to each other until people started passing out in random places. The boys were supposed to go to Vegas in the morning, so being the nice friend I am who knows there’s no way they’d make it on time, I helped clean. And by clean I mean emptying out all of the full beer cans that I’m assuming people opened, put down, forgot they had, and opened a new one, and clearing the empty serving dishes that had NO leftovers because there were twenty hungry, drunk boys. Then in the midst of clearing the meatless turkey carcasses, what do I find? A little plastic baggy with some little white pills. Really? Who brought Molly to Thanksgiving? I don’t recall Miley Cyrus being on the list.
Alyssa is a self-made, full time travel blogger who loves adventure and typically travels the world solo. She's been to 53 countries and 6 continents so far, and believes she has mastered the art of chasing waterfalls, traveling solo, wine drinking, and making budget-traveling look good. Curious to know how she started this career? Check out the About section above!