by Alyssa Ramos
Disclaimer: Before you freak out and accuse me of being insane or a terrorist…this was how I made light of and tried to see the bright side of a very awkward and eerie situation. Yes, I was terrified. No, I am not responsible if you fly Malaysia Airlines and something happens to your plane.
When I was booking my one-way flights around the world, I didn’t even know that I had booked a flight on Malaysia Airlines since I was mainly focused on the cheapest flights on Booking.com, and didn’t bother to really look at what airline carrier was being used. But when I got that lovely little Malaysia Airlines booking confirmation, I was a teeny bit concerned, but also a teeny bit amused at my own irony.
“It’s Ok, Fox News had their field day, you can’t lose two planes.” I reassured myself, trying to stand up for my obnoxious conspiracy theories that I tend to talk entirely too much about. I ignored the comments and pleads to change my flight, refusing to give in to the fear-mongering of the government and media…but then on July 17th, exactly two weeks before I was supposed to leave for South Africa, MH17 gets shot down in Russia. REALLY?!
After starring at the TV screen in shock for a good ten minutes, I ran to my laptop to stalk the airspace above where it was shot down. Out of all 900 planes that flew over that space that morning, MH17 was the only Boeing 777-200ER…the same exact model as “missing” Malaysia Airlines flight MH370. Since my official theory is that the plane was stolen by *a government (the only people who would be able to pull of such a heist) and that it’s going to either be used as a massive bomb, or to scare countries into thinking it’s going to be used as a massive bomb…or to scare people in general…it made sense to me why people at a highly opposing border would shoot down a suspect aircraft. Note: Check out this evidence that the wreckage matches MH370 but NOT MH17. But I digress.
Fine. I admit. I was a bit worried. I called my mother who you would think would freak out, but luckily mine is awesome and was the only person who reassured me that I wasn’t going to die or go missing on my flight. I may or may not have tried to change it, but they had suddenly spiked prices on cancellations and flight changes, so I double checked to make sure neither of the planes were Boeing 777’s and Malaysia Airlines it was.
It was the third leg of my trip around the world. I had already taken my one way flights from LA to South Africa, then South Africa to Bangkok, Bangkok to Krabi, then Krabi back to Bangkok, where I was scheduled to depart on MH143 to Kuala Lumpar (the airport where MH370 flew out of), then connect to Sydney. Keep in mind that at this point, I had no debit or credit card since they got stolen in Thailand, only a little bit of cash for “emergencies” ( f*cking Bangkok) which meant there was no turning back, so here’s how I convinced myself it was going to be OK to still fly on Malaysia Airlines.
My first Malaysia Airlines flight was forty minutes late. I’m not complaining, I’m just mentioning it to reference my inside joke with myself about it technically being “missing”, that no one else seemed to find humorous. When I inquired why the plane was late, the staff told me that they were taking “Extra pre-cautionary safety measures before take off”…thus we have reason number one to still fly Malaysia Airlines: It’s Extra “Safe”.
After quietly boarding alongside the rest of the extremely quiet and suspicious passengers, I took my seat next to another girl who looked equally as worried as everyone else to be on the airline. We took off with no problem, and after I was sure that no one else was taking any of the many available seats, I scooted over to the empty row next to us. Since it was only a 2 hour flight, and because there was no way I was going to sleep and let any funny business happen in the same airspace where the first plane disappeared, I decided to attempt blogging, which failed, and turned into deleting unnecessary pictures of random animals on my phone.
When the flight attendant guy came by to offer me my meal, he gave me two options; meat or meat, both of which I couldn’t eat since I’m a vegetarian. He seemed confused, but I assured him that I would be fine if he just brought me another glass of wine. He came back with the entire bag of individual peanut packets (think enough peanuts for the whole plane) and tried to offer them to me to make up for the lack of vegetarian options. When I refused he insisted I take them as a souvenir, which I didn’t obviously, and requested more wine instead. Which brings me to reason number two to still fly Malaysia Airlines: The Staff Is Exceptionally Sympathetic.
When I arrived at Kuala Lumpar I somehow immediately managed to get trapped in a conversation with a young Persian guy who admitted to witnessing me take my initial “In case I go missing” selfie on the empty plane. I think he must have been scared too since he walked with me to the bathroom, to the jungle exhibit in the middle of the airport, and to the bar before he had to go catch his flight to Japan. Cough, where MH370 was supposed to go, cough cough.
At the bar, I had portioned out my remaining cash for what I would need to get from the Sydney Airport to my hotel, and what I could spend on food since at that point I had not eaten since I left Krabi. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough for any of the bar food items, so I sheepishly asked for the cheapest thing on the menu…a beer.
“Can I order the pizza, a white wine, and a Bloody Mary?” A funky DJ-looking kid said suddenly to the bartender, hopping up on the stool next to me. My eyes involuntarily twitched up to look at him with envy for ordering my two favorite things. “I figured you should eat something other than peanuts.” He said to me sarcastically. After trying to convince him that I was perfectly fine with my beer and that I couldn’t accept, he finally got me to give up with, “Hey if this is my last meal I’d at least like to enjoy it with someone.” Touché. It was then that I realized that everyone flying Malaysia airlines was genuinely trying to be nice and friendly to each other because of reason number three: Everyone Wants To Be Your Ally.
The second plane was even later than the first one, shocker. This time they told me that they were re-fueling, which I had to fight myself not to sarcastially question. When we finally boarded the much larger aircraft, I noticed that it was much emptier than the previous one. I’m assuming it was because we were flying in the exact direction that MH370 presumably disappeared in, but what do I know.
I was shocked when the captain announced that we were getting ready for take-off since my entire four-person row was empty, and so were the majority of the rows around it. I peeked back at the American looking guy behind me who shrugged his shoulders and gave me the same partially confused, partially worried look that I was sporting. We both simultaneously began lifting the arm rests up on all of the seats and arranging all of the pillows and blankets to build better-than-first class beds.
I set my faux-first-class seat up like an office, putting half of the tray tables down and covering them with all of my electronic devices which I plugged into every seat back outlet to charge. Then I enabled every form of communication which was only the very expensive data roaming on my phone, but guess what? It still worked the entire time! Guess what that means? … I won’t get into it. Anyway I was extremely comfy which is why reason number four is: Every Seat Is First Class.
Obviously with an extreme lack of passengers there was an extreme surplus of meals and wine, which the flight attendant was more than eager to give me after witnessing my excitement over the vegetarian option. I usually feel bad about having to constantly flag the flight attendants down to get more wine, but this lady just kept them coming! I decided that being on Malaysia Airlines was a good enough excuse to get drunk, not to mention the only way I’d ever fall asleep, so I had a grand old time having a wine-tasting party by myself in my faux first class seat, then passed out like a baby. And thus, reason number 5 to still fly Malaysia Airlines: More Wine For You!
In all honesty, I was a little bit terrified, but more so felt extremely bad for the staff of the airlines. I could see and hear the sympathy they have for the “missing” and deceased passengers and staff members of MH370 and MH17 and can’t imagine how they must feel getting so many worried looks from current passengers like me…
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