10 Tips For Proper Plane Etiquette

 

by Alyssa Ramos

Once upon a time, flying on a plane to a destination other than your own hometown used to be considered a luxury! Ah yes, taking a flight used to be thought of as so fancy that people would actually dress up for their flights, and look nice, and have manners, and be considerate of others, etc, etc.

Now….not so much. I’m not sure if people don’t notice how they appear in public, or if they just don’t give a sh*t, but when you have to be in a flying freaking capsule with no outside air for prolonged amounts of time, you need to adhere to some sort of flight etiquette. Unless of course, you want to be added to the category of worst possible people to sit next to on a plane. Just sayin.

First of all, have you ever walked on a fashion runway? Because the second you step inside of any airport, you’re pretty much on one. Everyone, and I mean, everyone, is looking at you and judging you as you innocently make your way to your terminal. No pressure. It’s human nature to observe and evaluate others (AKA judge them), that’s just how it goes.

That being said, you might as well look good while it’s happening. Aside from the fact that you should be grateful for the luxury of being able to fly to wherever you’re going, you should also be grateful for being able to dress yourself as a human. That being said, some general flight etiquette tips for you:

1. No Pajamas

The plane is not your bedroom. Forget the whole, “Oh I want to be comfy for my flight so I’m going to wear my pajamas”- excuse. No. Would you invite 200 strangers in your bedroom while you curl up in your ‘jamie’s’ and watch a movie? I hope not. Nobody wants to see you in your sweats, and even if you don’t care what other people want, don’t be selfish, spare people the unsightly appearance of how you look before bed…you have ONE significant other for a reason.

2. No Flip Flops

If you wear flip flops on a plane, you’re an asshole. Nobody wants to see, or smell, or come in contact with your feet. Oh, you don’t think anyone will mind or notice your unkept and unsightly toenails? They will. And it’s rude not to care about what other people have to endure. Your feet in flip flops are also pretty much a health hazard due to the prokaryotes that grow and accumulate while you walk, which is almost a justifiable method of Ebola transfer. It’s not, but I could totally make certain people believe it is.

Plus, when you take your shoes off to walk through TSA or to “air out” your already disgustingly aired out feet on the plane, you risk the chance of not only transferring your gnarly, sweaty germs to others, but infesting yourself with other fellow flip-floppers’ foot fungus as well. Which leads me to my next point.

3. Bring Your Own Socks For TSA Checkpoints

Unfortunately, my genius idea to invent disposable socks for people to cover their feet with when they go through TSA checkpoints will probably be invented by the time I post this, but oh well. I thought of this because I’m overly observant and noticed the slime that is ever-present on the floor from the time you take your shoes off and put them on the security conveyor belt, to the time you pick them back up on the other end of the x-ray machine….where thousands of people have walked barefoot every day.

The solution: bring your own pair of cheap socks and pack them in the front pocket of your carry-on. Even if you already have socks on, I’d still put protective socks over them…unless you want that airport floor grime to go into the cute shoes that you’re wearing.

4. Invest in In-Flight Fashion

Believe it or not, there are certain styles of clothing specific for traveling on planes. All consist of closed toed shoes, a travel bag, pants (I don’t agree with the shorts in the photo, always wear pants, you don’t know how many butts have touched your seat), a comfortable yet stylish top, something to layer over it, and sunglasses. It’s really quite simple. Aside from looking like a respectable, presentable human being, you’ll be ready to go when you get off the plane. Plus, you never know who you might meet on a plane…don’t act like you aren’t secretly wishing that hottie you spotted coming down the aisle sits down next to you.

5. Prepare For Global Warming

“OMG it’s so hot, why doesn’t my vent work?!”, “OMG now I’m freezing, where’s that gross plane blanket?!”. The temperature on your plane is about as bipolar as your ex, but don’t act like you didn’t already know that. Before take-off it’s going to be hot, and no, they cannot “turn the air on”, otherwise everyone would die from gas fumes. Layer your clothing so that you can take off a warmer layer pre-flight, then gradually add them back on once the cold front hits at 30,000 feet.

Oh, and I’d suggest not using that plane blanket. I’m not staking any claims, but you can just go ahead and let your mind wander with how many people have touched that thing.

5. Pre-pack Your Carry-On

Nothing is more annoying than a person who has to constantly get up to get something out of the overhead bin. I almost feel as though some people do it on purpose, as if they want everyone to see them stretching up and over in all directions. But I’m also pretty sure no one enjoys an ass in their face, or constantly having to shuffle out of their seat so you can get by.

You already know you’re going to need headphones, your laptop, laptop charger (if you fly on a good flight like Virgin America), gum, your phone, hand sanitizer, your credit card,  and entertainment materials, so put all of those items in your “personal bag” that can fit under the seat in front of you before you take off. That storage space above you is called storage for a reason.

7. Be Hygienic

For some terrible reason, everyone looks and smells gross after a flight. Maybe it’s because of the obscene amount of bacteria floating around, or the fact that the cabin air is as dry as the Sahara Desert (fact), but either way, you’re going to be prone to grossness. Aside from the obvious hygienic endeavors like wearing deodorant, and showering before your flight, you might want to invest in some additional carry-on cleanliness like face wipes, hand sanitizer, and Lysol spray. Just assume that nothing is thoroughly cleaned before you touch it. Ever. 

On long flights I even packed travel-size face wash, baby wipes, and a toothbrush and toothpaste so that I can take a cat-bath in the bathroom before landing.

8. Control Your Bodily Functions

If you’ve been on a plane, you’ve experienced that inevitable disgusting stench that briefly fills the air then lingers around since it has no where to go. Don’t be that guy who farts on the plane and forces everyone around you to suffer. If you can’t hold it in, get up and go to the bathroom, don’t be gross. If you have the sniffles, or a cough, or a dry mouth, and you know this prior to getting on a plane, take something for it beforehand so you don’t gross everyone out with your constant noises and spreading of germs.

9. Be Polite

Unless you’re mother never taught you any manners, there’s absolutely no excuse for not being polite in general, let alone when you’re in a confined space with dozens of strangers. Help people struggling to lift their bags in the over head compartment (i.e. me), be patient when boarding and de-boarding (it’s not a race), thank your flight attendants and pilots, say excuse me when you have to ask your row to get up when you have to go to the bathroom, don’t talk unnecessarily loudly for attention, don’t give people not adhering to these rules dirty looks (or at least try not to), and so on and so forth.

10. Be Friendly

I’m not saying go join the mile high club with a complete stranger, but just remember that everyone on board paid just as much as you did, and is probably just as prone to irritation as you are. Giving a friendly smile, laugh, comment, or even conversation can make your flight so much more enjoyable for all parties. It’ll also make your flight attendants’ job a lot easier, which could possibly score you some free wine or a wifi pass! Again, you never know who you may meet on a flight, so always make sure to keep your plane etiquette on point!