by Alyssa Ramos
We’ve all been there — inconveniently hungover on the morning that you’re supposed to be traveling. It sucks. A lot. But it’s not like you’re just going to rearrange your social life so you can be bright eyed and bushy tailed on your flight the next morning! You have to cheers with ALL of your friends, multiple times, before you don’t get to see them for almost one whole week!
Maybe that’s not the exact case for everyone, but regardless, traveling hungover still sucks and is bound to happen at one point in your life, so you might as well prepare for it.
Plus, you get automatic sympathy just by reading this, since I am currently 30,000 feet in the air with a hangover level of “I’m dying”, a vomiting and now-drugged Pomeranian, broken wifi, and only a few sips of my “hair-of-the-dog” wine left. So no matter what…I feel your pain.
Here are some tips to avoid feeling how I currently do:
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1. Take Dramamine
You know how Dramamine prevents and cures motion sickness? You know how you kind of feel like you have motion sickness when you’re hungover? Connect the dots. Dramamine eases your hangover, and at the very least, prevents it from getting worse while your traveling. An added bonus is that it makes you sleepy, so you can just pass out as soon as you’re on the plane and sleep the hangover away. Yay.
2. Drink Pedialyte, Gatorade, or Resqwater
If you don’t already have a stash of Pedialyte somewhere, go get some, and you’re welcome. You’re hungover because drinking dehydrates you and steals all of your electrolytes…just like what happens to babies when they have vomiting and diarrhea. Gross. Restoring electolytes kind of helps…but not immediately, so feel free to skip to the more practical, immediate solutions.
3. Keep Drinking.
I don’t care what anyone thinks, if you’re at the level of hungover where you’re contemplating changing your flight, you need to just have another drink. Commonly referred to as, the “hair-of-the-dog” trick, take a drink of whatever you were drinking the night before…no matter how terrible it might sound at the moment. It works.
4. DO NOT Sit in the Back Seat
Even if you’ve done the above three suggestions, riding in the back seat to the airport can and WILL make your hangover 2 million times worse. Yes, it’s odd sitting in the front seat of an Uber, but it’s way less odd than feeling like you’re going to vomit in the TSA line.
5. DO NOT Book an Early Flight
Whatever, you get to where you’re going sooner, but let’s be serious…there is nothing fun about an early flight. Disregard this if you’re a morning person and/or not hungover. There’s a good chance you’re not going to know you’re hungover until you wake up at an un-godly hour to get ready for your flight. Then once you realize how shitty you feel, it’s going to be a tad bit difficult to function, especially when you probably haven’t fully finished packing. If you can help it….don’t book an early flight. Just don’t.
6. Pack The Hangover Essentials
You know you immediately shove shades on your face when you’re hungover, so don’t forget them when you’re traveling hungover. You need them. You also need headphones…preferably the noise-cancelling ones that drown out the lady talking non-stop behind you, or god-forbid the infant that won’t stop vocalizing how she really feels about her ears popping at the high altitude. She’s so cute tho.
7. Don’t Chew Gum
Sure, chewing gum might do something beneficial when you’re flying, like cure your atrocious alcohol breath, but the minty scent, taste, and over-working of your face muscles will only add to your already existing headache and nausea. Eat a cracker instead. Preferably with a side of wine.
[[PAUSE]] Something awesome just happened. As I wrote ‘preferably with a side of wine’ the flight attendant brought me the big-kid sized bottle of wine (that I ordered anyway but the computers are down on the flight) and said “It’s your birthday this week”. AKA free wine for me! …and it really is almost my birthday. January 4th, write it down.8. Avoid Action Movies
Watching an action movie or show while you’re traveling hungover is just like asking to vomit on the plane. It’s shaky, there’s a lot of stuff to look at, it’s bright, there’s just a lot of obvious reasons not to do it. Watch Frozen or something instead.
9. Avoid Reading At All Costs
Clearly I must be getting paid well if I’m going against my own advice and writing this while I’m hungover and traveling, right? Wrong. I’m two Chardonnays deep, and still battling against my hangover to write this out of the goodness of my heart. I did however lock my phone in my purse during the Uber ride here, knowing damn well that reading my text messages would make me feel way worse. You may not notice it, but reading while you’re in motion contributes to your already-existing feeling of shittiness. Especially if you’re in the back seat.
10. Dress Like You’re Important
Do you know who doesn’t get weird, judgmental looks when they’re that guy/girl who is obviously hungover at the airport and drinking on the plane at 10am? The hungover guy/girl who looks so fabulous that they must be important or famous, therefore making it acceptable to be in such a state of borderline debauchery. Looking like a million bucks = potentially feeling like a million bucks. See my Flight Etiquette Guide if you need more help with that one.
11. Attempt to Prepare Ahead of Time
Your brain isn’t going to want to figure out how and where to get your ticket, go through security, and make the home-stretch to your window-seat-cave while you’re hungover. It has much more important things to worry about, like if you’re going to throw up in public or even make your flight. This is why on the way to the airport, you should make sure you have your ID and credit card in your pocket or purse so you can use the self check-in kiosks to get your ticket then easily whip out both to show security. Hint: you want to make as little human interaction as possible.
Also make sure you have the correct flight number, airline, terminal, time, etc. so you don’t freak out when you can’t find it when you’re trying to get from Bangkok to Australia. I mean….to wherever you’re going.
12. Go To The Bathroom
No, I am not trying to sound like your mother. But I am guilty of staying cooped up in my window-seat-cave for too long out of fear that people will notice how hungover slash re-drunk I am. I also am keeping tame a dormant dragon-Pomeranian who is nestled at my feet after a ferocious battle to get him into his man-cave (dog carrier). This will only result in me getting more drunk and uncomfortable, which is why you should learn from my mistakes and get up to stretch your legs slash check out how those hangover eyes are looking before you de-board. Trust me. It’s not a good look.
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